I am now nearly halfway through this European adventure and it certainly has been a trip. Along the way, I have met some fascinating people who are passionate about making the world a better place and having fun in the process, made some amazing friends, and experienced several "growth opportunities."
One thing that is becoming abundantly clear, as I attend these site visits in Geneva is that I am not cut out for being a lawyer in the traditional, American sense. Socially and on a personal level, I adore my classmates, and some of them are truly interesting and insightful people from whom I believe I have a some things to learn, but I feel like I want something different from life than they do. I am feeling a much stronger pull towards the public policy aspects of international law. It has occurred to me since I've been in Europe that I am, first and foremost, a diplomat and a politician and that that is what I loved about Model UN.
My professor, here in Geneva, has been taking smaller groups of us to lunch to get to know us better and give us an opportunity to ask career-related questions, etc. I got pulled into the first group to go, because I roll with the A-Team, apparently (I know, I know, this shocks no one who knows me, but I still find it pleasantly surprising). One of my friends was asking him if there were career moves that might cut her off from what she wants to do, ultimately. His advice was to take every appealing opportunity that comes your way and see what happens, because you never know what you are going to like or where an opportunity might lead until you are there. I have a lot of respect for this man and think that if I live as interesting a life as he does, I will have done quite well for myself, so it was comforting to hear that he has lived the same life philosophy to which I subscribe and it seems to be working out well for him, so far.
All of that being said, I have not encountered anyone who does something that really excites me, enough, that I feel compelled to pursue it, to the exclusion of everything else, which is a little disappointing. If I'm going to do this international law thing, I need to be excited about pursuing it, and I'm just not enough, yet. I'm looking for something that excites me and fulfills me the way MUN did. It was suggested to me, the other day, by one of my MUN friends, that I finally give in and join staff at AMUN and he may have caught me at just the right moment, because I am very seriously considering it. Beyond that, I guess I have to keep on swimming, but combine the lack of excitement with keeping myself together in unfamiliar surroundings and I'm deep-down-in-my-bones tired. I guess the comforting thing about that is that I don't seem to be alone in it. Everybody in my class seems to be experiencing a bit of culture shock and homesickness, too. I don't like it, but it happens to everyone, I guess, so we just have to get through it.
I, at least, got a little bit of a reprieve from that, last weekend, when I met up with my folks in Rome. I wasn't sure how I was going to feel about Italy, because it has never held any real appeal to me. My last roommate here, Sara, was Italian, though, and she was pretty great, so I was willing to be open-minded about it. I'm really glad that I have had all of the cross-cultural training that I have, between school, MUN, Rotaract, and working at Rotary, because once I got past the frustration of missing my flight to Rome and having to take the train to Assisi and the initial discomfort of the forced intimacy of the design of the train cars in Italy, I kind of fell in love with the Italians. It took some conscious effort to accept the circumstances in which I was traveling, though, as it has in Switzerland, also (which is also exhausting). Once I did, I was able to seriously enjoy what was going on around me. The highlight of the train ride, from a cultural perspective, was definitely the middle-aged Italian man who appointed himself host of the compartment and gave everyone snacks and tried to engage everyone in conversation. Even though we did not speak the same language, he got me to smile and made me feel included, which in my opinion, is a real gift.
I have really enjoyed meeting all of the new people, Americans and Europeans, that I have encountered during my travels, though. It's funny how, when you are in a place that is completely foreign to you, a little thing like sharing a native language will make you share yourself with a complete stranger. In addition to the charming Italian man who offered me a snack when I was on the train from Milan to Assisi, I met a very nice American man who came into the compartment where I was sitting by myself, pretending like I was going to study, and simply struck up a conversation. I was so tired and a little lonely, at that point, that I was really grateful for the company and he turned out to be pretty cool. We told each other our (albeit very abridged) life stories and basically enjoyed each other's company until his stop came up, then he gave me his business card and we agreed to keep in touch.
In Italy, we went to the Cathedral of St. Francis, where he is buried, and had Mass, in his tomb. My parents are on a cruise with a church group, so there are a bunch of priests and nuns with them and they are having Mass, everywhere. It's interesting to me, though, the way I can go months without even thinking about Mass and religion and whatnot, but then, when I need it most, something will happen that makes me feel like I'm on the right path. The Prayer of St. Francis is my favorite hymn, because it reminds me that I often feel like there's something big and important that I'm supposed to do with my life, that that is not going to be easy, but that the feeling of rightness when it happens will be worth the effort. For those of you who are not familiar with the Prayer of St. Francis, here's a taste from Princess Di's funeral.
When I got back to Switzerland, I was so in my own little world, thinking all of these big thoughts, that I apparently walked RIGHT past one of my friends, here, on the street and didn't even see him. I had headphones on, so I didn't hear him when he tried to get my attention. I only learned that I had done this when I got back to my dorm room and had a facebook message from him (don't worry, he was nice about it). Again, I know it won't surprise any of you who know me well that this happened, and I can even believe, most of the time, that you find it to be a charming quirk, but that doesn't really make me feel like any less of jerk when I do it, haha. At any rate, I decided it was time to cut myself some slack and indulge in some activities that I find comfortingly familiar. To that end, we went to McDonalds for dinner and paid an exorbitant amount of money for Cheeseburger Royal value meals (Quarter Pounders), but they were worth every penny. Then we grabbed a bottle of wine and hit the swing set down by the lake. You know how much I LOVE to swing, so by the end of the evening, I was feeling MUCH more like myself and ready to face the week, ahead.
Unfortunately, it was really hot here Monday and Tuesday and nobody got much sleep, because there's no air conditioning in the dorms. That doesn't really surprise me, but there's also no screens on the windows which is a little bizarre because there are definitely mosquitos, here. The good news is that it seems to have cooled off, today, and I'm expecting to sleep like a rock, tonight. Of course, I am behind on the reading, because who can focus when salty, tired, and overheated, certainly not this girl. And the final exam for this class is on Friday, then we move on to Strasbourg on Saturday, to start our last class of the summer, which is supposed to be MORE intense and involve even less luxurious accommodations than what we have in Geneva, but I have my friends, now, so I say bring it on.
And with that, I should probably get back to studying, because this reading isn't going to do itself, and I want to make a good impression on this professor, because he seems like "someone who is good to know," as my former boss would say. :P
Hugs and Kisses!
Emily
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